When you’ve dealt with a narcissistic person who has betrayed you in some of the most horrific ways, deceived you, lied to you, and hurt you, you can have that devil and angel playing in your head. One minute you’re just wanting them to sort themselves out and do well, and not hurt another person. In another minute, you’re wanting to find out what will really get under their skin, what will truly hurt them. Although, unlike narcissistic people, genuine people don’t usually act on that, and narcissistic people go around getting their ego crushed anyway.
As there are eight things that will significantly crush a narcissist’s ego without you even trying to do anything to hurt them, their sense of self-importance and their relentless pursuit of admiration is very easily shattered under certain circumstances. You’ll often notice that you may have triggered this within them without even meaning to.
One of the first things that are going to shatter a narcissist’s ego is rejection. Rejection is a major blow to The Narcissist’s ego, puncturing their delusional perception of themselves and their superiority. Not many people like rejection, and it’s something we have to learn to handle. But to a narcissist, it doesn’t compute within their mind. They believe they’re better than all of this. So, even their partner going out with friends is rejection to a narcissist that they struggle to deal with.
People not agreeing with them, they struggle to not agreeing, agree. They struggle to deal with criticism. Narcissists cannot imagine that someone else’s opinion would be right. They believe that their opinion is the only one that counts and everybody else is wrong. And you’re going against them if you don’t agree with them. So, just having a different opinion, narcissistic people feel rejected because they lack the empathy to look at another person’s perspective.
Failure is not a nice thing, especially when you’re humiliated. When you fail at something, however, failure is a part and parcel of life and helps us learn and grow. Narcissistic people, when it comes to failure, this undermines their arrogance, their know-it-all selves. They cannot handle failure in any way, meaning they don’t grow, they don’t learn. They find somebody else to blame because to a narcissist, it’s never their fault, and they just can’t take it. They can’t understand it. So, any form of criticism, even constructive feedback, bruises The Narcissist ego. It’s a significant strike to their ego, and it exposes potential flaws they cannot take on board. Not many people like being criticized, which is why a narcissist will criticize you in some of the most hurtful ways. They’re not trying to help you; they’re trying to hinder you, they’re trying to sabotage you.
Even if you offer them some genuine, helpful advice, they’re not going to take kindly to it. They’re going to accuse you of not appreciating them because that just does not compute within their mind.
Lack of attention, indifference. We all know that indifference isn’t nice when a narcissist is ignoring us and not being there for us. Narcissistic people will shower you with attention, affection, and support, who then withhold it because they know that that hurts them. With a narcissist, when the spotlight is on somebody else, when somebody else is gaining the attention, narcissistic people scramble to regain that attention on themselves. Genuine people can appreciate that when someone else is getting married, the day is about that person. When it’s someone else’s birthday, the day is about that person. When someone else has achieved something or got a job, the day is about that person. Doesn’t work with narcissistic people. Narcissistic people are in the background going, “Hey, what about me?” Because it’s all about me.
Being outshined, genuine people can be happy for other people’s talents and achievements, especially their loved ones. Narcissistic people are envious of other people’s talents and achievements and intellect. It questions their superiority, and they can’t even stand their loved ones, their own children succeeding or doing something that takes the spotlight away from themselves.
Betrayal, not many people like betrayal. When you’ve been lied to and deceived and cheated on, it’s very, very hurtful. However, with a narcissist, you just have to find the truth out about them, and they believe that you’ve betrayed them, you’ve gone against them, and they get offended by this and seek to punish you.
Loss of control, many people don’t like that sense of uncertainty within their lives. However, with a narcissist, they will helplessly watch things unfold that they’ve lost all control over. Other people, and they play so many manipulative mind games to try and regain control of people.
Exposure, we all have secrets that we tell people in confidence, things that we’ve done in our past that we’re not proud of, that we’ve learned from, that we don’t particularly want exposing to the wider world. With a narcissist, exposure rattles them. It rattles their ego, forcing them to do damage control, usually by smearing somebody else’s name so that they can regain control of the situation. And they will point out everybody else’s mistakes and flaws and wrongdoings to keep the spotlight away from them. So, they’re happy with the positive spotlight, negative not so much. They’ll go all out to pass that on to somebody else.