Rejection is hard for anyone, right? Whether it’s you or someone else. But when it comes to a narcissist, rejection feels a lot like execution. The reason I say that is because narcissists literally survive on narcissistic supply. They require it to function normally. Today, we’re going to talk about what a narcissist might do if you reject and ignore them. So let’s get started.
There are five different ways I’m going to share with you today that a narcissist might react when you reject them and/or ignore them.
Number 1: They might decide that you’re not as good as them.
They might call you inferior, a loser, a nerd, a dweeb, or clueless. Either way, they assume you’re not good enough for them, and that’s how they’ll perceive you from then on. In their mind, this gives them permission to stop thinking about the fact that you rejected them.
Number 2: Walk away.
If you reject or ignore a narcissist and they see you as someone important, it contradicts their ability to simply label you as inferior and walk away. So, something different happens. The narcissist will likely do something hurtful to you as a form of revenge. This often takes the form of a smear campaign, where they tell everyone what a terrible person you are or how crazy you are. They play the victim. Using this tactic and treating someone badly to prove that they don’t matter is incredibly common for a narcissist. So, if they launch a smear campaign against you or start treating you poorly when you reject or ignore them, it’s because they believe you’re important enough to warrant that treatment.
Number 3: The narcissist might decide to stalk you.
By stalking, I mean exactly what it sounds like. The narcissist can’t stand the idea that you may have discarded them or stopped communicating with them. They can’t bear the thought that you won’t give them the narcissistic supply they desperately crave, even if they’re the ones who walked out on you. Interestingly enough, this tactic is particularly common for the stalker type of narcissist. If you ignore their attempts to reconnect with you after a discard, even if it was their discard, they quickly forget their part in it and become fixated on grabbing your attention and getting you back.
This can go two different ways, depending on their personality. They might start seeing you as a trophy and want to recapture you. They’ll start wooing you, love bombing, hoovering, and doing all those things to win you back. Suddenly, they remember your birthday after 27 years or send you a sweet poem or a song. They feel the need to reclaim you because you enhance their status in their mind. They’ll like your posts, send you nice texts, heart your stuff on Instagram, and act like Mr. or Ms. Perfect. If you’re like most people, you might feel flattered by this treatment and fall for it. You might think they genuinely care about you and even apologize for their past bad behavior. But once they have you again, they’ll go right back to their old ways because now you’re back in their clutches, and they can have you the way they want you to be.
Number 4: Get lots of new friends.
Another way that a narcissist might react to being rejected is to suddenly get lots of new friends. What do I mean by that? Well, suddenly you’ll start to see them posting all over Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram with photos of themselves with people of the opposite or same sex, depending on your preferences. They want to show that they never needed you in the first place. They’ll stay with this new person or people and have many photos with attractive men or women, even if they don’t really know those people. They just grab them and say, “Hey, take a selfie with me!” They assume that you’ll think they’re so popular, and also now that you’re gone, maybe you’ll want to come back. They’re literally lying to protect the image they’ve created in their own mind of themselves. While they might logically know it, they can’t admit it to themselves. They just think it’s funny. But it goes much deeper than they’re ever willing to admit.
Recommended: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
In this case, the best thing you can do with this person is totally ignore them. Continue to ignore them and don’t give them any feedback. Because if you do, they’ll keep going. If you don’t, they’ll eventually get bored and move on to something or someone else.
Number 5: The narcissist may ghost you.
Some narcissists, especially the more covert types who dislike confrontation, tend to ghost. They fall off the planet, and you have no idea what happened to them. They suddenly disappear. They’re not on social media anymore. They’re nowhere. Since these people are avoidant by nature, they just stop calling and don’t answer texts. They basically go no contact with you. So if you keep ignoring them, they usually go away.
Related: What Happens When You GHOST a Narcissist.
Remember, people are kind of interchangeable for narcissists and are mostly valued for what they provide in terms of supply. If you want to predict a narcissist’s behavior after you start ignoring them, go no contact, or reject them, look at where they fit on the spectrum. If they’re more overt, expect smear campaigns, rudeness, fake pictures with people of the opposite or same sex, and disrespect. If they’re more covert, expect smear campaigns with a victim act or ghosting. Either way, the best thing to do in any case is to be aware of it and continue to ignore them, stay no contact, or don’t let them back into your life just because they’re playing games with you.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Understand that even the most sincere-seeming narcissist will not change long-term. Any changes will be temporary at best. They will not remain because narcissists are incapable of long-term change without delving deep inside and healing their own core wounds. To be frank, I’ve never seen it happen in real life or otherwise. That’s what happens when you reject a narcissist. And if you want to know the reasons why a narcissist won’t change, read this article here.
Now, it’s time for the question of the day. Have you ever had the pleasure of rejecting a narcissist, and if so, how did they react? Have you ever ignored a narcissist, and how did they react? Have you ever gone no contact with a narcissist and witnessed their reaction? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section below. If you have tips for other survivors going through similar situations, please share your ideas on how to help them get through the hard times.
Read More: 10 Reasons Why Narcissists Will Never Leave You.
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