Narcissistic people tend to be very self-absorbed. They’re very grandiose; they have that self-serving empathy, and they believe they are more important than all others—that self-importance. They can come across as extremely confident with their charismatic charm on the outside; however, this is usually a mask to hide their deeply hidden insecurities on the inside.
There are several things that narcissistic people struggle to get over. This article is just going to be a few of those.
One of the first things they struggle with is any form of criticism—perceived criticism, any form of constructive feedback. Narcissistic people take this as a personal attack on their self-image. They can react very defensively, seeking validation. When they’re not getting validation from others and people aren’t agreeing with them, the narcissist takes this as criticism and gets very offended. They’re very sensitive to people not going along with what the narcissist wants. They tend to hold grudges against others and seek revenge.
Yes, criticism isn’t very nice, and yes, when somebody has hurt you in some way, we can have a moment of holding a grudge or wanting to seek revenge. Narcissistic people tend to project their feelings and make them a reality for those around them. The difference lies in those who question whether they’re the narcissistic ones because we can all have these feelings, and then there are the narcissistic one who believes they’re not the issue—everybody else creates their issues.
We can all be afraid to fail; we can all have a fear of failure. A narcissist will push you to a point where you then do things out of fear of failure, so they can coercively control you into living life on their terms. When it comes to a narcissist, any and all of their failings, mistakes, errors, or wrongdoings are blamed and shamed onto somebody else because they fail to take responsibility for their behavior. A genuine person, when they fail at something, criticizes themselves. They look for ways to improve.
It’s not nice being rejected, especially by someone who led you to believe they would be there for you, and then you find out that they’ve lied and cheated on you. This pulls your world from under you, and it is heartbreaking. So no, it’s not nice to be rejected; however, with a narcissist, they are craving excessive admiration, attention, and validation from those around them. So they get offended when people move on from them. They either seek to win that person back so they can punish them for daring to stand up to them, or they seek to punish that person, spread rumors, and destroy them in any way they can.
Most genuine people might tell the truth about what the narcissist has done to them, but they still don’t seek to completely ruin somebody in a moment. But with a narcissist, their fear of rejection leads them to create those feelings within you—falling silent on you, ghosting you, triangulating you with somebody new. They create their own feelings within you so that they can believe within their own mind that it’s not me, it’s you—you’re the problem—because they’re going to blame other people.
Read More: What The Narcissist Does When You Go No Contact.
4. Losing control.
Narcissistic people don’t like not getting their own way. It fills them with anxiety, anger, and fear. They are obsessed with control; they need to control people to get their own validation that they are right and better than all others. So they do not like losing control. No one throws a bigger tantrum than a narcissist losing control over somebody else’s mind. They struggle with losing control due to their need for external validation. As they have that sense of self-importance, they fail to recognize this within their own behavior. They simply create their reality for those around them so that they can blame other people.
A narcissistic person cannot get over being humiliated. They believe that if you have one over on them, you’ve got one over on them, and they seek to get you back. People can seek revenge; however, they have this thing called empathy which stops them from taking it too far. Narcissistic people lack empathy, which means there is no low they won’t go to get one over on somebody they believe has humiliated them.
6. Being Exposed.
Narcissistic people find it very difficult to get over when somebody has exposed them for who they truly are. They’ve spent time building up a character, a persona, to sell people an illusion so that they can exploit them and use them to get their needs met. And when somebody outsmarts them, they can’t take the blow to the ego. They take this very personally. It crushes their belief that they are superior and special. It brings their grandiosity into question. So they cannot get over people exposing them.
Read More: 10 Things that Cause Narcissists to Panic.
7. Disagreeing with them.
They find it very difficult to get over people disagreeing with them because they believe they are better than others. They believe they are always right. It’s their way or the highway. So when people disagree with them, they go around bringing up the conversation with many different people until they can find somebody to agree with them. And all those who don’t agree with them, they play the victim. “I knew you’d take their side.” “Oh, I knew it would be my fault.” They do this to gain that sympathetic attention for the things they’ve done wrong.
8. When they’re not getting the attention they believe they’re entitled to.
Narcissistic people can’t get over when they don’t get the praise, admiration, adoration, and attention that they believe they’re entitled to. They’ve done things for others in order to get admiration and praise, for people to admire them. So when people don’t give them the attention they believe they’re entitled to, they take this hard. They don’t get over this, and they seek to destroy those who didn’t give them the attention. They seek to destroy other people’s happiness to feel better about their own misery.
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