Have you ever wondered why certain women seem to be drawn into relationships with narcissistic individuals? It turns out that there are specific qualities or situations that tend to make some women more appealing to narcissists. In this article, we’ll take a look at three different types of women who often find themselves in these relationships. We’ll uncover what makes these women catch the attention of narcissists and why these connections might happen.
So, what attracts a narcissist? There are three categories, in my opinion, that attract a narcissist.
1. Doormat duchess.
The first category is the “doormat duchess” – someone who has very low self-esteem, who is eager to please, who has very fluid boundaries, who’s willing to overextend herself and do anything that her man requires, to submit to his will, to bow down to his every request and whim, to completely self-efface and dissolve into him and his every need, and have her entire world revolve around him. Okay, that’s the first type.
Related: 8 Lies ALL Narcissists Tell.
This is usually someone who cannot stand up for herself, she has little to no confidence, and she is very easily persuaded and molded. Usually, it can also occur in younger women more than older women, but there is no age for this. It’s a type.
The second category of the type of woman that attracts narcissists or that narcissists are attracted to is the really confident, outgoing, bubbly, sunshiny personality. The type of woman who lights up the room when she walks into a place; she’s the life of the party; she’s untameable; she is a free spirit; she is just overflowing with charisma and joie de vivre; she has this aptitude and intelligence, character, and charisma. So, this is the type of woman that narcissists are attracted to surprisingly.
But the reason why they are attracted to this type of personality is that they see it as a challenge. After they’ve played around with category one and they’ve become bored because, well, she’ll just bow down and not put up a fight and not challenge him, he is now looking for that challenge. He’s now looking for a woman that he can mold, he can subdue, woman that he can conquer, a woman that he can humble, a woman whom he can put in her place and bring her down to the level of emotional poverty that he feels. So, he wants to break down this strong woman in order to feel better about himself because narcissists are very destructive.
Now, of course, most of my content is talking about the covert narcissist because I have a lot of experience in that regard, but this can extend to both covert and overt narcissists.
Read More: 3 Things God Does to a Narcissist.
The third category of women that the narcissist targets are women with three different characteristics. They could all be found in one woman, but generally, it’s codependency; it’s the fact that the woman has had a history of narcissism in her family, so she’s used to catering to that kind of mental disorder. So, she finds his behavior normal or acceptable on some level. The third type of woman that will cater to a narcissist is someone who is extremely vulnerable; she’s in a position to receive or need what the narcissist can provide.
For example, if the narcissist is extremely wealthy and she is in a vulnerable position financially, he can then swoop in as her hero and save the day. She will then, of course, succumb to his will, and accept this help from him, which can then rescue her from her life or her issues. That is how he ensnares her. So, remember that when a narcissist does anything for you, it is not from the kindness of his heart; it is not because he is so altruistic. It’s because it’s a transaction, and he’s going to expect payback later. He’s going to hold the sort of Damocles above your head as a threat and as a weaponized help so that later on, he can bring that back up to get whatever he wants back from you.
Read More: 10 Things Narcissists Will Always Do.
So, remember there’s nothing that’s done without condition. He will come back for what he gave you, and you will expect complete submission because of it, and he will never cease to rub your nose in it and remind you of all the good things he’s done for you because he does not see them as his duty as a husband; he will see it as a transaction that you need to pay back. So, anything you receive from a narcissist is a debt that you are collecting, and that you are now becoming indebted, and that you now owe him.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
So, those are the three categories of women. Let’s recap. Number one, the really submissive “doormat duchess” who has no will of her own and bends all of her free will and her insides, her inner calibrations, to his will. Imagine her like a windsock, whichever way the wind blows, that’s the direction she goes in. The second category is the very lively, bubbly, energetic, confident, charismatic “Life of the Party” girl who’s very stubborn, sometimes very independent, very strong-willed. This is a huge challenge and excites the narcissist once he’s bored with category one. Then, the third is a subsect of categories, such as women who are codependent, women who have vulnerability, and women who are used and accustomed to narcissistic abuse, so it makes them more susceptible to it.
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