When you first start learning about covert narcissism and realize that it relates very much to a relationship you were just in, something really interesting happens. First, of course, you feel very validated. It’s like you’re reading your entire relationship all over the Internet. And then you’re like, “Well, wait a second, this person had a lot of weird habits. And how many of them had to do with narcissism?” There are the obvious ones, you know, like cheating and gaslighting and all that good stuff. But then there are the weird ones. If you have ever questioned any of those weird habits, then today, we’re going to talk about the 6 weird habits of a covert narcissist.
Now, before we jump into it, real quick, I just want to say that this is not an article that’s going to help you identify a covert narcissist. So, you can look at these traits and maybe you’ll identify with all of them or one of them, or maybe none of them. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not dealing with a covert narcissist. On the flip side, if somebody you’re with exhibits one or two of these, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re covert narcissists. So, these aren’t defining traits. They’re just sort of weird habits that are common for the covert narcissist, and I think you might be able to relate to at least one of them. But go ahead and read till the end and let me know. So, let’s get started.
Number 1: They get bored easily.
This one’s really common, and you can see how the disorder drives the habit. So, they get bored easily, and not just with their partners. They don’t always like to sit around and do nothing, and they like to get shiny new things. But they get bored with them very quickly. So, they might get obsessed about getting a new phone or a new car, and the first week they have it, maybe even the first couple of days, they’re obsessed with it, and it’s the best thing in the world. And then, before too long, they’re looking at getting the next thing. They stop taking care of the old thing because there’s the next, and it makes complete sense because that’s how they treat people too.
Read More: 10 Ways to Show A Narcissist That You Don’t Care.
Number 2: They don’t have a sense of humor.
This could present in a couple of different ways. So, the covert narcissist is much more likely to be socially awkward than the overt narcissist. So, they could just be socially awkward, and maybe they don’t get jokes, or maybe their sense of humor is really just lacking. And so, you’ll find that across the board, when they’re out with other people or when they’re with you, they kind of just don’t get the joke. And other covert narcissists, I guess the ones that are a little bit more social, will seem to get the joke with friends, and they’ll laugh when a friend tells a joke. But you could tell the same joke, and you will get a stone-faced reply. But what’s interesting about that is that if you think about yourself, what’s funny is funny, but it kind of gives you an indication that the covert narcissists might be faking their sense of humor with their friends.
Related: 10 Weird Texting Habits of Narcissists.
Number 3: The covert narcissist is likely to be a very private person.
So they will keep things from you, and I’m sure that you’ve uncovered that already. They will also keep friends and family at a safe distance, and it kind of makes sense because the covert narcissist is a little bit more insecure, outwardly insecure than the overt narcissist, and most of them really can’t handle having their friends and family take a front-row seat to the abuse that’s going on behind the scenes, so they’ll keep them at a distance. Now, some of them also have parents who don’t dote on them when they are together, but again, it’s common for that covert narcissist to keep the friends and family, even that doting parent, at arm’s length, still in their lives but just not close enough so that they could be abused or see the abuse that’s going on.
Number 4: They’re likely to talk smack about their friends.
And this is something that you’ll probably notice pretty early on. They might encounter a really, really good friend that they spend a whole lot of time with, and that person, as soon as they leave the room, they’re telling you all that person’s dirty little secrets and why that person is unstable and all kinds of things. It leaves you to wonder how they’re actually even friends at all. Now, not all covert narcissists do this, and some only do it with certain people, and the reason why those who do it do it is because they’re kind of making a case against the people who are close to them. So, if those people were to ever expose the narcissist, and they’ve already started disparaging that person, so it’s a little bit easier to make that transition with their group of flying monkeys.
Number 5: Porn addiction.
And not all covert narcissists have one, and it’s more common for men than women, but it could go either way. So, you may find porn on their computer and a lot of it, or they may be out in the open about it, and it’s constant. It’s an obsession, almost like an addiction, and you’ll find with the male covert narcissist, sometimes they’ll even develop a form of erectile dysfunction as a result of their porn addiction.
Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse (A Guide To Narcissistic Abuse Recovery And Healing From A Narcissistic Relationship)
Number 6: They have a weird relationship with s.e.x.
This is also incredibly common. Covert narcissists tend to have a weird relationship with s.e.x. So, either they’ll use it as a form of control, or they’ll seem to be completely addicted to it. So, if they’re using it as control, they may withhold it in an effort to get you to change your behavior. Or, if they’re at the opposite end of the spectrum, I mean, obviously, you’ll know, but one of the things that you’ll notice is that there’s no time that’s off-limits. You could be grieving the loss of a loved one, and there you are trying to manage the covert narcissist’s needs and trying to avoid the tantrum that’s going to come when you say no.
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