I don’t know about you, but I love a good comeback. It can be the difference between an awkward silence and an exciting conversation. Regarding narcissists, responses can have a very different effect than we intend. They may make things worse if they aren’t used correctly or right at a time. When dealing with a narcissist, it can be easy to get defensive or upset. But if you want to disarm them and avoid an argument, you need to stay calm and use a comeback phrase that will throw them off their game.
Today, we will talk about the 10 best comeback phrases to disarm narcissists. Read how they react when you say these to them.
Number 1: “That’s interesting. Tell me more.”
This phrase is an excellent sentence to use if you want to disarm a narcissist without losing your cool. The best method to respond to this is to stay with a grin and then follow up by showing interest in what they have to say by asking them questions about themselves. We all know narcissists like it when they get asked about themselves, so why not use this intel to our advantage? But you need to be cautious in saying this and be sure that you do not sound arrogant or cheeky to them. Instead of disarming them, you might fuel their anger, and all things go to chaos.
Number 2: “What’s your point?”
Narcissists are all talk, but most of the time, they have no sense. If you want to disarm them, asking them “What’s your point?” is another good comeback phrase because it lets you avoid getting defensive and lets the narcissist know they have not brought it to you. The phrase is great to use when someone is attacking you and trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Narcissists don’t have enough reason to answer your question, for they always do it out of anger and insecurities for themselves. Asking them what they mean is a way to shut their mouths. Eventually, narcissists still leave you alone, feeling like a fool due to their inability to speak out and answer your question. Wouldn’t it be satisfying to watch them walk out defeated?
Number 3: “I agree with you on some points but not others.”
Agreeing with narcissists is the easiest option if you don’t want to stress yourself opposing their opinions. But this phrase is a good comeback because it lets the narcissist know that you are listening and considering what they say, which feeds their ego for a little while. That is also a great phrase when the narcissist is trying to make you feel bad about yourself. You want them to know you are listening but not necessarily agreeing with everything they say.
Read More: 8 Ways Narcissists Spy On You.
Narcissists want to feel heard. When you say things against what they have told you, they’ll consider it a personal attack. So saying you agree with them on some points but not others is a good balance that can defuse the bomb that is the narcissist.
Number 4: “I don’t believe everything I hear.”
This phrase is an excellent comeback against narcissists because it lets them know that they have not gotten to you and that there are still some things they need to prove before they can get trusted by you. It’s important to remember that everyone has their perspective and that the narcissists may not tell you the whole story. You should always be cautious of what a narcissist hears because they will only tell you what they want you to know.
Narcissists can be very manipulative and cunning, so you must know this fact. Saying this phrase might also let the narcissists know that not all people believe them. People aren’t required to do so when it’s out of their will, which can disarm narcissists from their high horses and bring them down a notch. Nothing is more enjoyable than seeing someone break out of their pretense life, right?
Read More: 10 Types Of People Narcissists Respect.
Number 5: “That is not what I’m saying.”
This comeback phrase is good for narcissists who have said something that might be slightly off base but don’t want to admit it. It also works well as a response when narcissists have stated something untrue and you want to make sure narcissists know the difference between what you are saying and what they were trying to express. That is crucial if you’re discussing a highly technical or complex topic because it can be simple for folks to misunderstand what you’re saying or become confused.
This phrase is also great for narcissists who like to talk over you and don’t want to listen to what you have to say. When they do this, just saying ‘That’s not what I’m saying’ will usually slow them down so that you can finish what you were talking about or explain something in more detail. It might not be enough to disarm them entirely, but it is a good start if you plan to do so.
Number 6: “I’m not to blame for your rage.”
This phrase evens the playing field so they cannot use you as a source of narcissistic supply to ease their emotional distress. Additionally, this declaration sets a prominent border between what you will be responsible for and what you will not be, which is incredibly grounding. It also helps to set boundaries around what you are willing to do and not do.
For example, suppose you have agreed to help them through this rough patch, still, they continue acting out in other ways like being passive-aggressive. If you’re finding it difficult to set boundaries with a narcissist, try taking a step back from the situation and asking yourself your values. How can you best support them without enabling their bad behavior? In that case, it’s time for a conversation about how that behavior impacts your relationship with them.”
Number 7: “I apologize if you feel that way.”
When debating with a narcissist, it’s crucial to remember that you can feel sad for someone else without feeling sorry for your boundaries. This phrase forces the narcissist to take responsibility for their feelings, which could make them feel heard, preventing an issue from getting worse. It seems impossible to disarm them, but it will help you find peace and move on if you can. It just takes a lot of patience and practice. Isn’t that worth a try?
In general, I recommend being direct and honest with your feelings. It can be difficult because narcissists are manipulative and have a way of making you feel bad about yourself, but the more they see that you will not tolerate their abuse, the less likely they will continue it.
Read More: 4 Things a Narcissist NEVER Gets Over.
Number 8: “I will not argue anymore.”
I won’t argue anymore. When you use this phrase to a narcissist, this will send a strong signal that you won’t participate in a pointless argument any longer. Again, you must maintain your composure and leave for this to succeed. If you feel upset, take a few moments to reflect on why the narcissist is trying to start an argument with you and how they will benefit from it. Either way, discussing will not help resolve the issue at hand. This phrase is compelling, but it will only work if you genuinely mean it. If you say this and later get back into an argument with the narcissist, they will know that your words were just an empty threat. Everything is all right.
Number 9: “Everything is all right.”
This phrase makes it evident to the narcissist that things will get better and that they are okay. Since narcissists lack self-awareness, they are likely unable to manage significant conflict or emotions. Saying ‘everything will be fine’ provides them with validation and comfort they don’t even realize they need. The narcissist is trying to reassure themselves that things will be okay or that everything is all right. They seek the validation of others to confirm their feelings about an event. If you intend to help them, you can use this phrase to disarm them.”
Number 10: “I want to express my feelings.”
I wanna express my feelings. Sharing how you feel helps humanize the discussion. Always use ‘I’ phrases to take responsibility for your feelings and avoid blaming others. Although narcissists may not care, they will likely relax if they sense that you view yourself as a victim. After that, narcissists will probably try to utilize strategies to make themselves seem like victims, which will likely cause the anger to subside and make de-escalation simpler. Disarming a narcissist, no one is winning.
This is just an avenue where you can understand each other’s feelings and come to an agreement, not an argument where you raise your armaments against each other. If you’re still having trouble, try this tip: before you say anything, take a deep breath and count to ten. If narcissists don’t stop talking by the time you finish counting, then speak up. This technique can help you keep cool by giving you a moment to think about how to respond.
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