5. SENSE OF SUPERIORITY AND ENTITLEMENT
That is extremely obvious. And somebody who is a more overt type, somebody who has these grandiose notions of who they are and of their own self-importance, they might be a little bit more obvious about it. But you can usually tell in somebody’s tone of voice how they speak to people who they don’t find useful in the moment, or people who they think are somehow in a class below them. And those feelings of entitlement will come out whenever they aren’t getting their way.
Let’s say you’re at a restaurant, and they ran out of today’s special, and that’s what your date wanted. Narcissists, especially, do not like hearing the word no. So if they’re not getting their way, you might see a little bit of a fit. It’s that adult tantrum that we talk about so often, and this is what causes them to act in a way that is extremely pushy when they’re not getting their way with you, and when they’re not getting their way with other people.
Even if they try to suppress it, even if they don’t throw an all-out fit, if you notice that they’re having trouble getting over it, that they couldn’t get their way and they can’t get it off their mind, this could be a warning sign that this person is highly narcissistic. Again, things are often very situationally dependent, and it’s up to your own discernment and your own intuition in the moment.
If you see somebody acting that way and it feels understandable to you, then this red flag may not apply in that situation or in that moment. It is, again, up to you and your own discernment. But these are things to look for. These are things to pay attention to.
Related: If They Do This… They’re a Narcissist.
6. PLAYING THE VICTIM
The sixth way that you may be able to spot a highly narcissistic person on a first date is in how they explain their past relationships. And this may also point to a victim mentality. So if this person is talking about their ex like he or she is the devil, like he or she is the most evil person, and they had absolutely no role in this, they just went along for the ride, I hate to say it, but that is also a red flag.
I know that a lot of readers here have been in emotionally abusive relationships, as have I, and so this could be a little bit of a tricky one. Because when you first get out of that relationship, especially, you’re thinking about what that person did wrong. What is wrong with that person? But there comes a point where you can talk about it briefly. You can have a normal conversation with someone else without going down that rabbit hole.
So if the person you’re with, if you’re on a date with somebody who’s going down that rabbit hole, either they are a perpetual victim, or they’re fresh out of that relationship, or maybe still wrapped up in it, you have to ask yourself if that’s something you want to be involved with.
The red flags here are really talking a little bit too much about the ex or about a bad situation that happened where they were the victim. If you notice a theme where this person is victimized at work, in past relationships, and in their family, that is something to pay attention to.
Recommended Book: Prepare to Be Tortured: The Price You Will Pay for Dating a Narcissist.
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