How frustrating is it to watch a narcissist skate through life hurting other people without any real consequences? So maybe you cut them off hoping that they’ll finally realize what they’ve done. And instead of apologizing or reflecting, they just escalate. Maybe they’ll blow up your phone or show up at your work or suddenly become the sweetest person alive for exactly 3 days before the cycle repeats. It’s like they physically cannot handle not having access to you.
So most people think that narcissists just can’t handle being ignored because their ego is bruised or they’re control freaks who need constant attention. And while those things might be true on the surface, what’s actually happening runs much deeper than wounded pride or a need for control. So when you ignore a narcissist, you’re cutting off their primary source of fuel.
Narcissists literally feed on other people’s emotions. So they need your reactions, whether positive or negative, to regulate their own internal state. And without that external validation and emotional supply, their entire psychological structure starts to collapse. It’s not just that they want your attention. They need it to feel like they exist.
So, think of it this way. Most of us have an internal sense of self that is pretty stable, whether people are paying attention to us or not. But narcissists have what’s called a false self, an elaborate construction built entirely on how others see them. When you stop feeding that construction with your reactions, it begins to crumble. So when a narcissist is being ignored, you’re not seeing someone who’s simply angry or somebody who’s just controlling. You’re seeing someone whose identity is under threat and they will do almost anything to get that supply back.
So What Happens When You Ignore a Narcissist?
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