Number 4: The Focus is Never On You.
They talk over you, and they redirect the conversation to something that they’re more interested in, which is usually themselves. So if you talk to a covert narcissist about your day and you drag on a little too long with the details, they’re probably gonna end up talking over you. They may take over the conversation with advice or with stories of similar things that have happened to them. And if they are not successful in redirecting the conversation, in most cases they’re going to turn it into an argument.
So what that does is it one, redirects the conversation away from that boring thing that has to do with the narcissist, and two, it puts the focus back on the narcissist because then you’re fighting and you’re talking about that person and what they’re doing to you. And that’s a whole lot more interesting to the narcissist than what happened in your day, no matter what happened in your day.
Number 5: Feeling Isolated.
Now, some covert narcissists are very obvious about this, and they will outwardly tell you that they don’t want you hanging out with this person or that person, or they don’t want you to spend time with your family. And some are more subtle; they might just sulk every time you do, or give you the silent treatment, or make you feel guilty. And so what happens in these relationships typically is that the person who is not the narcissist will stop hanging out with people who really matter in their life and spend more time with the covert narcissist.
Related: If They Do This… They’re a Narcissist.
Number 6: Emotional Rollercoaster Relationship.
A relationship with a covert narcissist is a total emotional roller coaster. A relationship with a covert narcissist is always going to be an emotional roller coaster. In many cases, this presents as the typical phases that narcissists go through in relationships: love bombing, devaluing, discarding. And many narcissists also Hoover, which means they come back around; they suck you back in, and they do it all over again and again and again and again until you finally break the cycle.
But even if you’re dealing with a narcissist who doesn’t do this, because some of them don’t, you’re still gonna go through those phases of love bombing and devaluing, so it’s always gonna be that up and down. Even if the relationship doesn’t ever end, even if there is no actual discard, it’s still gonna be a roller coaster.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
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