Narcissists, with their charismatic charm and self-assured demeanor, often present themselves as individuals who have it all together. However, beneath their facade lies a web of hidden truths and vulnerabilities they desperately try to conceal. There are certain things that narcissists do not want you to know about them, as it would shatter the carefully constructed image they project to the world. Understanding these hidden aspects can shed light on the manipulative tactics they employ and help protect ourselves from their harmful influence.
In this article, we will delve into the secrets that narcissists strive to keep hidden. By uncovering these truths, we can gain valuable insights into the complex dynamics of narcissistic personalities and empower ourselves to navigate their presence more effectively.
These Are The Top Seven things that a narcissist does not want you to know.
1. Fragile self-esteem.
One of the first of these 7 things is that they have very fragile self-esteem. They come across with that charismatic charm and full of confidence, which is actually their arrogance. They can be very self-assured and very convincing in the lies that they tell to those around them. This is because they heavily depend on external validation from others, which is usually shown when they get any sort of perceived criticism. This triggers their defense mechanism, and they go all out to attack you, blame you, and shame you. They don’t want to be open and vulnerable with you. They want you to believe that they’re the best thing since sliced bread and that you’re the one with all the problems, all the issues.
Related: 10 Weird Habits Of A Covert Narcissist.
2. They lack empathy.
They don’t want you to recognize the fact that they lack empathy. They don’t want you to understand that their focus is purely self-driven. They’re prioritizing their own needs and desires, and they’re willing to exploit people. They’re not interested in the cost their behavior has on those around them because they lack empathetic care. They will pretend they care just long enough to get their needs met by you. But they don’t want you to recognize that they don’t actually care about you because they want to be perceived as superior and better than you.
3. Their manipulation.
They do not want you to recognize their manipulation tactics. Narcissists have an arsenal of manipulation tactics to armor up and protect themselves from others. Their manipulation tactics are what they use to control people’s emotions and actions through gaslighting, projection, triangulation, silent treatment, blame-shifting, changing the goalposts, and intermittent reinforcement. They do not want you to recognize these behaviors because once you’ve recognized them, they no longer work on you. Then they’ve dropped their armor, and they’re more vulnerable to not getting their own needs met. They’re more vulnerable to their fragile self-esteem being shown. So they do not want you to recognize their manipulation tactics, which is often why they resort to gaslighting you to make you think that you’re the one with the problem, and you’re the one who’s going crazy.
Read More: 5 Sadistic Things Narcissists Find Entertaining.
4. To know about some of the things they’ve done.
They don’t want you to know what they have done to you or to others. This is often why they find a way to excuse, justify, rationalize, or blame someone else for their behavior. It’s a double win for a narcissist because by blaming somebody else, that person takes the fall for the narcissist’s behavior. They don’t want you to recognize that their victim was innocent and that they were the person who targeted the victim. They don’t want you to recognize the things they’ve done to people, and they do not want you to recognize the things they are capable of doing. They lack taking personal responsibility. Instead, they shift the blame.
5. Their exploitative nature.
They do not want you to be able to recognize their exploitative nature because they need you to hang on to their every word so that they can control your actions and emotions.
6. Their fears.
They don’t want you to recognize that they fear abandonment. However, they will make sure that their worst fear, abandonment, becomes your worst fear. They withhold attention, affection, and support. They fall silent on you, discard you, and move straight on with somebody new. They want you to have their fears so that they can blame you for having all their issues. They want to provoke anger and resentment within you so that they can accuse you of being the bitter and jealous one.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
When, in actual fact, when someone is disloyal, lies, cheats, or betrays someone else’s trust, that is their issue. They are the problem. Your emotional reactions to these things are perfectly normal, emotional reactions that, unfortunately, we have to work on. However, a narcissist also wants to convince you and those around you that your emotional reactions to their actions are the problem. They want to distract you and those around you from their actions.
Narcissistic people fear abandonment, contrary to their self-confident image they try to sell. Their fear of abandonment is their driving force to manipulate people, to isolate people, to financially abuse people, so that they can remain in control. They can choose when they want to up and leave.
7. Their need for adoration and attention.
They don’t want you to recognize that they require this from you, almost like we require oxygen. So that their fragile image is shown, so that they can keep their ego stroked. They manipulate to gain praise and recognition, and they thrive off this. They need this. However, they don’t want you to recognize their dependence on you for adoration and validation. They want you to believe that you are the one that’s dependent on them.
Read More: 6 Weird Habits of a Covert Narcissist.
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