1. Narcissists Go Back to What Worked Before.
The first thing is that they’re going to maybe try to start going back to what worked for them before. Remember, there are three different phases in how they interact in relationships: love bombing or idealization, devaluation, and discard.
They start off with love bombing or that idealization phase where they show up in your space and they seem like they’re absolutely perfect. Then they start to devalue you, and then there’s the discard phase. But they kind of go back and forth between the phases. So they’re going to go back to what worked before.
“Oh, we can always work this out. We’ve always been so good together. We’ve always been able to do things. Why do you need to be so rigid? Why do you need to be so difficult?”
They’ll try to get you to be charmed by them again. Whatever worked before to charm you, they’ll go back to that. Sometimes it’s called hoovering, where they’re basically coming back and saying, “Oh, maybe I haven’t talked to you in a while.” And suddenly, you get that ping in your inbox or in your DMs, and you’re like, “Oh, I haven’t talked to that person. Why? What are they doing here?”
So they’re going to go back to trying to charm you in some ways.
For More: This Is How Narcissists Spy On You.
2. Narcissists Escalate Their Tactics.
The next thing is that they may try even stronger tactics.
All of a sudden, they’re showing up at your house or showing up at your office. They may happen to be talking to everybody that you know. You just can’t get away from this person. There they are. They may call you incessantly. They may text you incessantly. They may escalate their efforts on all the bad things that they’re doing: manipulating situations, projection, denial, deflection, lying, all the things that they normally do, but now on steroids.
Remember, with narcissists, you’re either for them or against them. They’re very black and white. So they may escalate their tactics. You see them coming on much more strongly.
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