Lovebombing Phase.
This is where they’re going to flood you. I have an article on the things that they actually say in person as well, such as narcissists’ favorite catchphrases. That’s more like things they’ll say when they’re devaluing you, because they have the three phases: love bomb, devalue, and discard. You can definitely check out that article as well.
I’m going to go through love bomb, devalue, and discard. After the discard, they kind of come back through and sort of hoover you a little bit as well. It kind of starts with love-bombing and ends with discard, but then they go back and forth between love bomb, devalue, back to love-bombing, devaluing, discard, and hoovering.
It’s all like a toxic stew. It’s not linear. They don’t go love, devalue, discard. They go back and forth between phases, which is part of what causes the trauma brain and destabilizes you.
That’s why it’s very difficult to negotiate with them a lot of times, because your brain gets so scrambled.
In the beginning, when they want to gain control over you, they come on super strong. They’re very charismatic, and they flood you all the time. You’ll get text messages like, “You’re beautiful,” “You’re gorgeous,” “You’re amazing,” “You’re so smart.” It’s not just male to female, it’s female to male as well. “You’re perfect for me.”
I’ve even dealt with this in business situations. The emails I would get were things like, “This is the most incredible partnership,” “I can bring you the best clients,” “I know all the right people, I can make the right introductions.” They flood you in the beginning with all the right things to say.
You’ll see texts like, “I can’t stop thinking about you,” or “I miss you already,” when they just left two minutes ago. Flood you, flood you, flood you. You can’t believe this person even existed, right there in your space all the time.
“I can’t live without you.” “You’re my prince charming.” “You’re my princess charming.” “You’re my soulmate.” “This is the most amazing thing.” “I’ve never met anybody like you before.”
These are the kinds of messages you get during the love-bombing phase.
Suggested Book: Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
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